Angeles Arrien: The Second Half of Live, Opening the Eight Gates of Wisdom
Ernest Holmes: The Science of Mind My spiritual philosophy and guide to living.
John White: The Meeting of Science and Spirit, Guidelines for a New Age Insightful and provacative thoughts on humanity's evolution of consciousness.
Christopher S. Kilham: The Five Tibetans
Jalalu'l din Rumi, John Moyne (Translator), Coleman Barks (Translater): The Essential Rumi Beautiful, beautiful poetry brought to life in English.
Muriel Barbery: The Elegance of the Hedgehog One of the few novels I have read in a long time, but thoroughly enjoyed. Well written and a telling, amusing and touching story of how separate lives truly intersect and change one at a core level.
Donald Spoto: Reluctant Saint: The Life of Francis of Assisi A brilliantly written book about my favorite mystic.
Michael Green, Coleman Barks : One Song: The New Illuminated Rumi
Esther and Jerry Hicks (The Teachings of Abraham): Money, and the Law of Attraction
The past couple of days have been challenging. I had a low-grade headache and felt spacy and out of sorts and couldn't put my finger on what was going on.
My experience has taught me that when I am in this space something has been simmering in the psyche and is ready to heat up. Headaches are often a first indicator. The vaguely cranky, doen't feel like doing too much, can't get clear on how I feel, out of sorts feeling is also a sign.
Before falling asleep last night, I asked my Higher Self for some clarity. Although my dreams were interesting, for reasons I won't go into here, I didn't feel like I had gotten any more clarity in the sleep state. This morning after my daily spiritual reading of Science of Mind and short contemplation, I continued re-reading The Five Tibetans.
At a certain point, my intuition was that I needed to go and meditate, if I wanted answers to my experience of the last two days. Sure enough, it did not take long for the answers to start coming. This is one of the great joys and advantages to the long term practice of meditation: Clarity. Another advantage is that one is reminded again and again, that the answers are always within.
The images that came to me today were all fire and light - alchemy, crucibles. My realization was that the things hindering me were fuel for the fire, fuel for my fire, my transformation of self. These hinderances were logs, which thrown into the blaze, made the fire hotter, but ultimately transmuted the hinderances into an understanding of myself, of my experiences. The sense of space and openness is so much greater. Ashes take up far less space than logs. I have new material (ash) to sift through for further understanding or I may choose to toss it to the winds.
Truly, there is no energy crisis given all the "fuel" we each have to burn in this lifetime.
I began this post while still in the desert in Arizona because I was struck by all the contrasts in nature, especially as I walked through the hours of the day and night. One of the natures of Nature, is contrast. But amidst all the contrast is unity. Yin Yang. Yee Ha!
I love traveling. Dropping someone off at the airport, I get a thrill. Looking through a travel magazine, revs me up. Years ago, when we took a charter subscription to Conde Naste Traveler, I would grab it when it arrived and secret myself away for two hours. It was my "travel porn."
These reflections on travel come to me as I am enjoying the desert beauty of the Scottsdale Resort Four Seasons Scottsdale Resort. Four days of being surrounded by the pointy pulcritude (don't you love that word - it is so not what you think it is) of cacti, spiky peaks, endless skies, brilliant sunsets, has shifted me.
Traveling to naturally expansive places, like the desert, quickly takes me out of my everyday experience. First, there is the travel, this time by air, starting in one place and fewer than five hours later, landing in a completely different environment, two thousand of miles away. Up in the sky, flying in a machine that I don't even understand, totally taking for granted that I will end up where I choose to be. That, in itself, makes one think.
Back on land, the land is so different. It's hot (oh, yes, as they say, "...but it's a dry heat.") Once outside the city, your eyes can travel on and on to distant mountain ranges. The winds can be hot or cool, depending on the time of day and the day itself.
Camping out in a resort is another departure from my everydayness. What pleasure there is in a gorgeous, well-appointed room with a view, with practically any amenity you can think of at your beck and call.
I am greatly blessed and I know it and am deeply thankful for all that has brought me to this delightful moment in time. This is a place I want to go to again...and again...and again!
It is interesting that with the many tools I have learned over the years to help myself out of physical or psychological discomfort, I so easily forget them. Waking up with a headache that has that pre-menstrual fog feeling, I roll over feeling miserable, just wanting my head to stop hurting so I can get a little more sleep and not feel crummy all day.
Five minutes of that misery, and I remember that I have help, I have tools - my herbal friends from the Amazon Rainforest, just waiting to assist - Lunazon and Calmazon.
I knock those back and lie down, hoping to fall asleep again, but after two minutes, make the choice to get up and meditate (probably one of the best tools.) When I settle in and begin, I realize that the only thing that will get me to a still place is to practice my pranayama(yet another tool.) A few minutes later, I drop into the sweet, quiet spot. I feel the effect of the herbs washing over my nerves, much like the feeling of a narcotic, but I am more awake and focused than I have been since I "woke up."
Fresh from mediation, aligned with my day, prepped and out the door, I have a quick visit with a friend (another tool: friendship) and drink two cups her incomparable coffee (yet another tool) and land at work ready to be a "tool" in service to others.
All this to say, remember the tools in your box. It makes this work of living so much easier.
Why is it that mosquito bites cause such a reaction within me? One of the tiniest creatures on the planet can deposit a microscopic amount of poison beneath the surface of my skin and inflame the area, cause it to itch like crazy and create a distasteful looking road map of welts across my body. And why is it that with a multitude of bites, current crop of 15, they all itch at once?
I am reflecting on this as I am awake this morning, after only four and one half hours of sleep, so distracted by the itching, that I cannot fall back to sleep. I ponder the "attraction principles" involved. If I am exactly where I have chosen to be, if all of my thoughts and attitudes have attracted to me exactly what I have chosen, why would I choose to be so irritated by these bites?
Could it be that I am irritated at the smallest thing? That I react strongly to tiny insults or that these bites are karma for my little bitter thoughts or sharp comments to others? Is it a physical manifestation of bottled up frustration and unexpressed irritation at the multiple experiences of encountering poor service in large, bureaucratic companies in the last two days? Hmm, could be.
Could it also be that I inhabit a most magnificent physical body with such exquisitely sensitive and powerful healing mechanisms that an unseen insect calls up a multitude of immune system defenses and those defensive reactions keep responding for days? Am I simply so "sensitive" spiritually and psychically that I acutely perceive things and my body reacts strongly to them? Perhaps.
Or, am I just a warm-blooded, luscious, juicy, ripe mosquito magnet, exchanging body fluids with an unthinking critter?
This is a new and bold start for me - blogging! It feels overwhelming as I explore this next step in my creative emergence. I am dipping my toes into the vast pool and it is intimidating and scary. "Come on in, the water's fine!", shouts my Higher Self.
Never did I think that I would create a blog, but the word "blog" popped out of my mouth when I asked my Creative Source how to put myself out into the world in a compelling way. And so, I begin. I keep reminding myself to stay with beginner's mind. Open, eager, willing to tumble and learn. Quel fun!